Making Big Decisions

I thought coming back from a vacation would refresh me, help me think clearly and all, but all it did was make me miss the outside world. Made me wonder what I was missing while I work in an office from 8 to 5. Are people really content with this way of life? I understand money and stability is important and they no longer think of themselves so I accept that, but why must I choose this life?

I do have bills to pay, but I have enough money to survive without a job for awhile, so then what’s holding me back from taking the leap? I could easily be without a job for a month or so and do what I want. Learn new skills, practice drawing, and/or try to find a new career. So why hesitate?

Career stability?

As a recruiter, I know what the feeling of seeing a gap in employment and it makes me hesitate to hire someone. So if that’s how I feel… why put myself in that same situation for another recruiter to doubt me? What if I never find another job..?


Something my parents.. well pretty much everyone… drilled into my head.

“Prepare for retirement”

“Start saving now”

“Contribute to your 401(K)”

What about the people I work with?

As difficult as this job has been.. I’ve come to love the people that I’ve worked with. I always used to overthink what they thought of me. Did they like me? Did they hate me? Did they just think I was weird? Either way I’ve learned to just ignore those thoughts and take it at face value. If they’re nice to me. great! If not, then at least I know straight up.

Repeating mistakes?

This isn’t the first time that I chose to went unemployed. I did it back in 2015 and I didn’t regret that decision, but did I accomplish anything during that period? I said that I would be a video game designer, but I gave up. I wanted to try programming, but I gave up on that too.

As you can tell there are a lot of reasons for my hesitation, but lets think this through. Maybe things will be different. Yes, I left my job with no plan before, but look at where I am now. I’m back in HR, but got to experience recruitment. I’m learning to blog and draw everyday, so that’s something I can continue to do but dedicate more time to it.  I may not be using a 401(K), but I’ve invested in stocks and I can learn how to better to do that as well. As for the people I’ve work with, if I don’t burn any bridges then I’ll still be friends or at least friendly.

Whatever happens, I have to believe that this isn’t the end of the line for me. Yeah I could save for retirement and prepare for it, but what about right now? What if I don’t make it to retirement? Could I look back and be proud of what I’ve done now? If the answer is no, then it’s time to rethink my life.

The answer at the moment.. is definitely no.

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