Making Big Decisions

I thought coming back from a vacation would refresh me, help me think clearly and all, but all it did was make me miss the outside world. Made me wonder what I was missing while I work in an office from 8 to 5. Are people really content with this way of life? I understand money and stability is important and they no longer think of themselves so I accept that, but why must I choose this life?

I do have bills to pay, but I have enough money to survive without a job for awhile, so then what’s holding me back from taking the leap? I could easily be without a job for a month or so and do what I want. Learn new skills, practice drawing, and/or try to find a new career. So why hesitate?

Career stability?

As a recruiter, I know what the feeling of seeing a gap in employment and it makes me hesitate to hire someone. So if that’s how I feel… why put myself in that same situation for another recruiter to doubt me? What if I never find another job..?

Retirement?

Something my parents.. well pretty much everyone… drilled into my head.

“Prepare for retirement”

“Start saving now”

“Contribute to your 401(K)”

What about the people I work with?

As difficult as this job has been.. I’ve come to love the people that I’ve worked with. I always used to overthink what they thought of me. Did they like me? Did they hate me? Did they just think I was weird? Either way I’ve learned to just ignore those thoughts and take it at face value. If they’re nice to me. great! If not, then at least I know straight up.

Repeating mistakes?

This isn’t the first time that I chose to went unemployed. I did it back in 2015 and I didn’t regret that decision, but did I accomplish anything during that period? I said that I would be a video game designer, but I gave up. I wanted to try programming, but I gave up on that too.

As you can tell there are a lot of reasons for my hesitation, but lets think this through. Maybe things will be different. Yes, I left my job with no plan before, but look at where I am now. I’m back in HR, but got to experience recruitment. I’m learning to blog and draw everyday, so that’s something I can continue to do but dedicate more time to it.  I may not be using a 401(K), but I’ve invested in stocks and I can learn how to better to do that as well. As for the people I’ve work with, if I don’t burn any bridges then I’ll still be friends or at least friendly.

Whatever happens, I have to believe that this isn’t the end of the line for me. Yeah I could save for retirement and prepare for it, but what about right now? What if I don’t make it to retirement? Could I look back and be proud of what I’ve done now? If the answer is no, then it’s time to rethink my life.

The answer at the moment.. is definitely no.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s