Over the weekend I managed to finish probably the longest short story that I’ve managed to write so far. It’s a work in progress and still needs a ton of editing (thanks to my future editor for pointing that out.. my girlfriend!), but I’m really happy that I get to share it with everyone soon.
Learning how to draw and how to write at the same time has been a challenge for me. When I’m focusing on drawing, I feel like I’m not putting enough time into my writing. When I’m writing, I feel like I’m not putting enough time into my drawings. I had so much free time in the world this weekend, but it never feels.. enough!
I think the idea of finally putting myself out there is getting to me. I’ve managed to gain followers, views, and interests, so now I’m worrying that what I put out there isn’t good enough which motivates me to work harder, but scares me that people won’t like what I put out. Then I begin to remember an experience that happened recently and how it reminded me of why I decided to pursue this goal.
It was the moment when I first shared my blog with her, my love. I was so scared to share my blog with anyone and then I finally mustered up the courage to let her read one of my short stories.
The Longest 5 Minutes: https://imperfectlife748.wordpress.com/2017/08/25/the-longest-five-minutes/
It was probably one of the scariest of experience I’ve had because I couldn’t help but wonder..
Is she going to like it?
What if she doesn’t?
What if my grammar was terrible?
Should I be using bigger words??
Then I saw her eyes start to water. She smiled and giggled as she went through the story. She then finished the story and looked at me and smiled, with tears still rolling down her face and then she let out an “aww”. It was in that moment.. that I knew I wanted to keep writing short stories, blog and draw. IT was that moment that pushed me to finally get my blog out in the public.
I’ll never forget that moment because it helped me learn that I wanted to write stories and draw art, that makes people feel all these emotions. I want people to feel invested in the stories I write and I want them to keep reading it over and over again. This was literally the turning point for me, so every time I feel frustrated and ready to give up, just remember this moment.
As a reminder for myself.. breath and relax. Focus on the process and not the goal. Be sincere in what I do. Don’t do it for anyone else, but do it for yourself. Everything will work out and I’ll continue to move forward no matter what.