It is 7:50 AM, and I’m sitting in my living room in front of my laptop trying to figure out what to do next.
Normally, I’d be in the office already checking my emails and waiting to clock in.
So after transitioning to a very different situation, I’m starting to have this weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. My chest also feels a little light and my hands won’t stop shaking (probably from all the package handling.).
I feel… odd. I feel like what I’m doing isn’t right and that I should be at work like everyone else. The logical side of me, the one that always chose for me, says I should be at work. I should be trying to find another full time job that will help pay for the bills and expenses.
Then there is my heart, the one that I paid least attention to, and the one that always found someway to make me feel sick when I was doing something that I didn’t truly want. For example, driving to work every morning and I start to feel anxiety in my chest, almost to the point of turning the car around and calling in sick.
So once again here I am, but even though I feel odd, at least I don’t feel sick. I don’t feel like throwing in the towel and jumping into bed to catch a few more Z’s. I still feel nervous about my decision, but I know what I want. I want to be a storyteller. I want to animate and write my own stories.
So in every personal post I write, I’m going to keep repeating my goals over and over and over again. Until it is engrained in my mind and until it realizes that the 8 to 5 life and human resources isn’t for me. As long as I can type a paragraph and draw simple shapes, then I won’t give up on my dreams.