20% Completed!

5 days into NaNoWriMo and I managed to write about 10,000+ words! This is probably the most that I have ever written… ever, so I’m going to give myself a pat on the back for this one.

During these past 5 days, I’ve had doubt. Doubt as to whether or not I could do it and doubt on whether or not it was worth it. I mean, will anyone even bother to read it? Will anyone want to publish it? It plagued my mind and made me hesitate, then I realized it that I just needed to stop thinking and just write. Write and write. Don’t worry about what’s going to happen after, at least not yet. So I plugged away at my novel and managed to stay above the minimum amount of words per day.

While writing this novel, I also learned something important, or I finally realized something. I’m unemployed! I mean I always knew that, but being unemployed means having more freedom to mix things up. So why am I trying to write during times that I’m the least productive. I’m a night owl! I should be writing and drawing at night as well! I should take advantage of this opportunity, before I have to pick up a job again!

Lastly… I learned that I’m a pantser. Not someone who pantses people, I already got detention for that in the third grade so I know better, but I’m someone who just… jumps into it. In a previous post, I talked about how things don’t always go according to plan and weeeell. My novel has deviated, not entirely, from my plan. The framework of what I planned can still be seen, but the details have changed and you know what… I’m perfectly okay with that. This experience helped me to realize that as much as I love planning, I also love just doing things. Also, that planning can sometimes lead me to freezing up.

This can better relate to my drawings. I’ve researched and read so many articles on what kind of classes I should be taking, and every single time. I find myself questioning my lessons.

Is this going to help me?

Am I really learning learning from the right instructor?

Then I realize… you know what? Screw it! Just going to go all in and do what needs to be done. As long as I’m doing, then that’s all that matters. So no more hesitating. Time to go all in and give 110%. After all, it is my dream and it doesn’t deserve any less than that.

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