These Suspicious Thoughts

These suspicious thoughts. They nag at me at the back of my head. I’ve never seen or heard these thoughts before. Normally the thoughts go away, but these thoughts or rather unfamiliar voices seep out. The voices conflict with my own. I keep telling myself to give up, but the voice plead or rather beg for me to keep pushing.

What if I don’t want to keep pushing? What if I want to quit?

Quitting. Giving up. Those things are easy to do and besides haven’t you given up enough? 

I understand, but what’s the point? There’s no point anymore! I roar back at the voices. Attempting to silence it once and for all. For awhile I thought it was gone, but like a flicker of light in the darkness refusing to quit, the voice reappears and tells me.

Quit now and you’ll never forgive yourself. 

Then the voice disappears, but for a moment I recognized it. It was my voice. No not my voice now, but my voice from when I was a child. When I used to be filled with hope.

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